Old for me gay
I finally came out as gay at 55 years vintage after 2 marriages with women. Telling my children was surprisingly easy.
I'm a middle-aged man who has been married twice and widowed. I'm also a father to two grown children. And I'm gay.
My sexuality was a burden I carried for so long, and hiding it became part of my core identity, weighing me down. But I finally had the courage to come out at Honestly, I sometimes wish I hadn't waited so long.
Growing up in the '80s was not a safe environment for a lgbtq+ kid, so I chose to cloak my true self
Growing up in the '80s in Las Vegas, I was in a diverse, difficult time. I knew as adv as 12 or 13 that I was different, but in those days, I had no frame of reference for what it meant to be gay. Blatant homophobia and pressure to fit in left me thinking I was some sort of freak. I avoided getting lock to anyone and buried my confidential, in favor of a more "normal" experience.
I eventually met and married a wonderful woman who knew my private, and we started a family together. When cancer stole her a not many years later, I was left with two
Miriam Margolyes "Everybody needs a little teaspoon of loveand sometimes a lot"
Nigel's guest today is Miriam Margolyes. Miriam is one of the most famous celebrities out there, having worked as an actress, dancer, comedian, and voiceover creator for decades. A satisfied gay woman, Miriam has entertained millions with her talent and artistry, whether it be on our TV and cinema screens, on the theatre stage, at Fringe performances around the globe or from between the pages of her wonderful memoirs This Much Is True and Oh! Miriam. Miriam is a woman who has never held back with her thoughts and emotions and now, as a woman in her eighties, she has no intention of changing that. This series is a celebration of a beautiful gender non-conforming community; people of all ages, people who include had to tread their own path to inhabit their real truth, who have fought with their emotions and emerged victorious, who inspire, who aspire and always entertain. Hosted by Nigel May. Every episode Nigel speaks to a person from the LGBTQIA+ rainbow to catch their story; one person, one life, one conversation. And
Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Gay Relationships
Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to gay men younger than themselves. If you are happy online dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It&#;s like asking &#;Why do I prefer blondes over brunettes?&#; My advice is to let yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as long as they are over the age of 18).
Age gap relationships are more common than you may realize. In western countries:
- 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
- that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
- and 15% of female/female relationships
That same study indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more committed to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some study that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can find more details on these stats on this episode of the pod
Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay dude whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.
Gass lost his first spouse, 28 years his senior, through the slowly decaying effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he launch love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively fresh man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older guy again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had defeated older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of entity attracted to older men.”
I began to study homosexual relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay